vain, selfish & lazy.

Saturday, June 03, 2000

well, i'll be damned...: ..there is a blog.com. apparently, it's run by an individual named, well, blog. it seems to focus on video games and such. i've always wondered why blogger wasn't called blog.com and now i know why. how amusing.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

new poll: so in the spirit of the write-up i did earlier, i've decided to put it to a vote. what is your favorite blog? write-ins are welcome, just click other and leave your comments on the next page. predictably, everyone will vote for themselves, and tom will be torn.

as far as the last poll goes, 66.67% of you think that this blog is perfect as is, that i am the mercedes of weblogs. RAWK!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

e-mail i just wrote...: ...to katy at kitschbitch.

i was compelled to reply because of the strange synchronicity between your post and the one i just did here.

the magical age for me, right now, is 15. maybe a little younger. there was so much to look forward to and, for me, at least, things were still fairly innocent. it was safe to be in love without thinking about the complications of sex; it was safe to have fun as drugs and alcohol weren't really too much a part of the equation then; it was safe to have a job because you didn't feel the anxiety of the need for job security; it just felt safe to be *alive.* nothing really could destroy your world, and if you thought anything could, it turned out to be quite insignificant when you really thought about it.

you still had the chance to be anything and everything you wanted to be, and there wasn't anyone (professors, admissions officers, prospective employers, etc.) to tell you that you couldn't be.

personally, i miss the feeling of being in love at that age. it was a sensation that came out of nowhere, and when it hit, it was like nothing i ever felt, then or since. i wish i could still feel that way: the chills when they touch you, the butterflies in the stomach when they speak, the skipping of your heart when you caught a glimpse of them. it was the most pure and magical feeling i've ever had.

this is better than what i wrote earlier, so she was nice enough to send it back to me, since i don't have yahoo configured to keep my sent mail. i'm talking to her via humanclick (nice that someone uses it) and she is a very nice, articulate person. go visit kitschbitch.com as i know i will!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

the great weblog massacre: in which i review weblogs, kick ass and take names along the way!

no, not really, because i'm only going to review the ones i visit every day which can be found to the left. unlike some people out there who link to certain blogs because it's the "thing to do" or because they want a link back, i only link to blogs i visit every damned day. so lemme have a go at them:

nylpm: my erstwhile home before branching out. as a result of nearly everyone getting a weblog, tom has left to do the lion's share of the work on this and, of course, blue lines. he does an admirable job, and it remains one of my very favorite blogs, but the move to more links has led to a decrease in reviews. links i can find most anywhere, but as someone who greatly appreciates tom's writing, i'd like to see more of his insight about music.

blue lines: here we have the aforementioned blue lines! if tom wasn't my good friend, i don't think i'd be visiting this blog as i avoid most uk blogs due to their insularity. however, knowing tom, i gave this site a chance and it's often very entertaining. though, more often, it's of interest to brits only.

josh's blog: josh is a very deep, insightful thinker. however, he doesn't much talk about music i like. when his thoughts do turn to music i enjoy, it makes for a very enlightening experience. i also enjoy his new design much better than his old design.

westernhomes: which isn't really a blog, i don't think. however, it's an estimable site and i appreciate seeing things like a review of the new common album and a d'angelo concert review. my only real complaints are the recent lack of updating (though one can't blame him for having a life to contend with!) and the occasional lack of breadth in the albums he reviews. when you're feeling your indie oats, though, it's nearly incomparable.

log.nu: log.nu has a very cool design and they always trudge up some great links. i guess i would like to see more frequent updates from them too.

skykicking: ah, young tim! when this site is on a role, it's fab. however, when it gets caught up in quibbling about travis and talking about buffy again...well. as said on this page previously, his writing belies his years. now if he could only do something about that design... ;)

pearls that are his eyes: criminally underlooked, i believe! there's always some entertaining links and intriguing original content to be found at pearls. plus, she hates radiohead! my only complaint here is the infrequency of updates.

catherine's pita: cat is a very cool chick, let me say right off the bat. i see she stole my idea about polls, but it's all good. i always steal links from her anyhow. again, i'd like more updates, please! damn you all for having lives. also, she has an unfortunate love of all things indie, but nobody's perfect.

public log: i really loved this one, despite the fact that they labeled me a serial killer. if anyone knows what's going on over there, please let me know.

i drank WHAT?: jerwin is the man. great design, great posts -- great everything, really. if he wrote reviews, he'd be what i envision this site to be. plus, he has great taste...except for the whole jeff buckley thing. ;)

caotm: in theory, this may be my favorite blog. i've been reading mike's "cultural artifacts...," wherever they've appeared (posts, e-mail, etc.), for years now (can you believe it's been years now?) ever since he wrote me about rhino's beg, scream, & shout box. they've always been hilarious, thoughtful, and often downright ridiculous. if only he updated more...*hint, hint*

frytopia: fry very often comes up with great links and writes a ton of fantastic original content. she also has the good taste to love this blog. the only complaint with her, like jerwin, is the whole jeff buckley thing...and the fact that she paid good money to see m:i-2!

do you think your blog is one i should visit every day? let me know about it, and maybe it too will appear on this page. wow!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

philosophical musing of the day: yesterday, i stepped off the train and overlooked the town in which i grew up. crossing the tracks were several teens on bicycles, joking around with each other like kids that age do. i thought back to when i was doing things like that, and what a simple and grand time it was. i felt like telling them to make the most of these times cos they are the very best you'll ever have, but it made me feel so old to even think it. i'm a fairly happy person right now, but i don't think i realized how good it was when i had so few responsibilities. i think i squandered a lot of those days and if i think about it too long, i get upset over all that i missed out on. so i'll stop.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

another redesign: as you can tell by the new links at the top, i've decided to make the sight a bit cleaner and easier to navigate. i think the links are fairly self-explanatory, eh?
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

i'm shameless, #...i've lost count: if you'll look at the last update page on blogger, you'll notice that i've changed the description of this blog. looking at my stats, i can already tell that i've lured a few unsuspecting folks in. i think it's clever, if only slightly misrepresentative.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

bullshit analyzer: taken from pearls who took it from riothero. i scored 240%, lower than both of them. here's the run down of all of the sites i link to:
nylpm: 500%
blue lines: 460%
josh blog: 660%
westernhomes: 500%
log.nu: 220%
skykicking: 420%
pearls: 380%
catherine's pita: 540%
public log: where are you guys?
i drank WHAT?: 150%
caotm: 260%
frytopia: 300%

ha! i always said that josh was full of shit, and now this proves it! ;)
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

why do kid's shows suck today?: when i was a kid, we had some great cartoons (thundercats, voltron, transformers, etc.). today, i look at the tv and it seems as if all of these shows got started in a toy manufacturer's marketing department, instead of in an animator's imagination. maybe i'm just deluding myself; maybe the shows i mentioned above were all just created to sell product, but damn it, at least they were entertaining. for some reason, fox is showing "dungeons & dragons," and it's the best thing on saturday mornings! it could be that i'm just getting old.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

julia roberts wins "cybersquatting" case: in theory, i'm against cybersquatting. i appreciate the initiative taken by folks registering these domain names, i really do. it's all very entrepreneurial and such, but then i saw a spotlight on a guy who registered the domain names of hot nfl players and demanded $10,000 or so from warren sapp...for his name. what really got me though was what a nebbish this squatter was and how adamant he was in keeping these players from their names.

but i really don't like julia roberts. her attorneys claimed that russell boyd, the "cybersquatter," registered the domain in "bad faith." well, i contend that ms. roberts launched this attack in "bad faith," since i can't imagine that she's going to start her own official site. that's the sort of thing that's usually reserved for the cindy margolises and shannon elizabeths of the world.

and on top of that, i just don't like julia roberts.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

YAWWWWNNNN!: good morning to you all. i slept very well last night. one thing i like about coming back here is not being disturbed by the cats and not having to fear that one of them is going to break something or, even worse, PEE on something.

...

God DAMN, you all are lucky i don't have a computer at home, if this is the type of shit i'd be writing.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

2000: sometime yesterday, i reached the 2,000 hit mark, and it took me exactly a month to do it. not bad, but i think the breast chronicles are drawing that many in a day. they truly are the 'nsync of weblogging.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

change of heart: it's 12:30ish in the morning and i'm watching this show. before i became gainfully employed, i'd watch it all of the time. after greed, it is the most evil show on television.

the premise is this: a couple whose relationship is on the rocks agrees to be set up on a blind date selected based on their preferences (essentially, they end up being everything their current s.o. is not). no seamy detail of the date is spared -- host chris jagger makes sure of it. first off, the girl's date comes out and they discuss it, with the guy trying his hardest not to look jealous, but being a guy, he fails. then the guy's date comes out and they try to make it sound SO much better than their s.o.'s, even if it wasn't.

in the end, the two couples have to decide whether they want to stay together or if they've had a change of heart. they do this by holding up a card stating their intentions. let me tell you, there is nothing more crushing (for them) and perversely enjoyable (for me) than watching the first one put up a "stay together" sign only to have their s.o. hold up the "change of heart" sign!

i've been told often and also consider myself a nice guy. but nothing fills me with as much joy as when the above scenario occurs or on greed, a guy goes for $2 million and then ends up with nothing. i wish the individuals no ill will, but i love watching this happen. can someone explain this to me? am i just very bitter?
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

Friday, June 02, 2000

i am SO bored: i hate the idea of blogging merely because one is bored, but here we are. coming back to my parents' home reminds me of all i'm missing...like ALL OF MY STUFF. damn, i don't have anything here. i got so bored that i hooked up my sister's computer so as to have something to do. i'll try to spare you all the gory details.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

hmmm...: someone got to this blog by searching for misery. well, brother, you came to the right place!

i'm not really that depressing...am i? new poll, anyone?
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

reviews archive: at last, it is done. if you look on the right bar, under my e-mail address, you'll find all of the reviews i've done on this blog, broken down by category.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

this reminds me...:...of goodfellas. jerwin is tommy devito (joe pesci) and he's about to become a made man and, in the process, add some legitimacy and prestige to those bloggers lucky enough to have a permanent link on his page. let's just hope some rat doesn't pop him. ;)
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

i'm home: well, not really, despite what my mother thinks. being away from this place reminds me of all the things i miss most about it. i love living in manhattan, but it's nice to turn everything off for a while. except for the computer.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

a note about updates: i will be updating sporadically this weekend. i'm going back to my parents' house today for my sister's graduation on sunday, so you'll most likely see postings from me. keep your eyes on this site this weekend, then.

the speaker at graduation will be montel williams, which strikes me as odd for two reasons. first, her school has been known to attract some very big name speakers in the past, but i guess they wanted to be contrary this year. second, he's, well, montel williams.

a humbling fact: even a minor celebrity like montel williams is more famous than the most famous of bloggers.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

okay, okay!: i changed the poll. you like me, you do. it's resounding. i was a fool to doubt.

the new poll is more salient, i think, and i'm very interested to hear your feedback, so don't be afraid to leave a comment.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

MADONNA - "MUSIC"
well, let me just start off by saying, "hmmm!"

if anyone was expecting another "american pie," you won't find it here. the futuristic-retro stylings of william orbit are replaced by the dancefloor-friendly beats of veteran house producer, mirwais. i'm not sure how the two met up, but madonna contributed lyrics and vocals to a track called "paradise (not for me)" that appears on his most recent album. mirwais was then recruited to co-produce the upcoming madonna album with the aforementioned mr. orbit and house dj sasha, who remixed some of the ray of light tracks. when i heard the news a month or so ago, mirwais was as much an unknown to me as i bet he is to many of you. since then, though, i've heard several of his tracks, including the particularly stunning, "v.i." which samples serge gainsbourg's "melody" and features some great sounds.

one thing that confounds about "music" is that it's an odd choice for a single. i haven't heard the album, but if this is as radio-friendly as it gets...well, things could get interesting, to say the least. to my knowledge, madonna has never released, as first single from an album, a song that was more friendly to the dance charts than to the pop charts, but it looks as if the time is upon us.

the production on "music" is fairly good, and it seems to get better with each listen as you pick up on different nuances. basically, it sounds like daft punk with better drum programming, but the wild card is this fantastic g-funk synth line that comes in near the end that would make even dr. dre himself stand up and take notice.

there's a problem, though, and her name is madonna. when writing lyrics for a dance tune called, simply enough, "music," you should keep the lyrics just as simple and universal and all of that. madonna does this for the majority of the song; the words are admirably nondescript and they don't distract you from the dancing. but then comes the chorus: "music...makes the bourgeiosies and the rebel..."

D'OH!

rule #1 of pop music writing: do not under any circumstance use the word bourgeiosies. failing to do so will result in groans and guffaws from the world over.

besides that faux pas, the chorus is very weak. i initally scoffed at the lack of a strong hook on "beautiful stranger," so image my dismay with this one -- then again, look how well "beautiful stranger" did. i guess this one isn't all about hooks, though, it's about the music, maan, thus the title. and the music itself is interesting, it's just madonna's contributions that are lacking. the video is supposed to have madonna interacting with female lap dancers or some such -- though who can believe anything one reads on the internet these days -- so in a way, she's returning to the madonna of old that the fans have been clamoring for but, damn, mo, lose the dictionary, huh?
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

gorilla attacks belle & sebastian on totp: he must've heard the new album.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

elvis was welsh: welsh historian does in-depth research to prove elvis was welsh. world greets news with deafening indifference.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

german tv plans nazi comedy: hey, isn't it time we all had a good laugh about the holocaust?

germans. will they never learn?
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

soul singer johnnie taylor dies at 62: rest in peace.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

ongoing project: i just wanted to let you all know that i'm creating a review archive. every review that i've made on this here blog will soon be accessible to you by one easy click of a button. i'll put a little menu on the left bar and you can select the review of your choice from there. i hope you appreciate all of the work i do for you.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

the results are in!: for the best single of 2000 so far, with 30% of the vote, you've selected sisqo's "the thong song"! in a close second with 20% was kelis, followed by a tie for third between britney and eminem, with aaliyah rounding things out in fifth. i guess i should come out and say, then, that "the thong song" was also my choice. good for all of you!

a new poll is on its way up. i need a little ego boost, so let's see if you cooperate.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

Thursday, June 01, 2000

lambchop is good: on a whim i visited rachlog, as it's one i often see up on the blogger "fresh" list. well, let me just say that she had a picture of the cover to lambchop's nixon up with the caption, "in my head." regular readers know how much i love my lambchop, so based on this alone, you should visit rachlog.. she also regretted not being able to pick up the new b&s album before leaving for camp, but based on my review and subsequent re-review, she shouldn't fret too much.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

hair...today!: yesterday, i got a haircut. i was due for one, i mean, it's summer, and i try and get one on roughly a seasonal basis. so today, it's been the talk of the office, me and my "sexy" new 'do. all i did was have five inches or so trimmed off; i was up to my knees in it when i got off the barber's chair.

while watching boys don't cry, my girlfriend's grandmother (the image of her watching that movie is disturbing enough) said that brandon teena looked like me. with this haircut, i tend to agree with her. what do you think? yes, i know i don't have a picture of this new hairstyle up, but think this.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

"music": i'm currently listening to the new madonna single, and i'm not quite sure what to make of it. it's probably the least commercial first-single-from-an-album that she's ever put out. i'm sure it'll do well on the dance charts, though. a review is sure to follow.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

oops...brit topped by eminem: now i certainly figured eminem's marshall mathers lp to top the billboard charts this week, but WOW. what does this say about this country and the listening habits of its inhabitants? for one thing, they've got good taste.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

what were they thinking?: reading some older entries over at jejune.net, i see that the idea of censoring goodfellas for network tv is deemed the dumbest idea ever. correction: censoring striptease and another 9 1/2 weeks for network television are the dumbest ideas. ever. the only reason anyone went to striptease was to see demi moore's boobs. i don't think anyone had the opportunity to see another 9 1/2 weeks in theatres, but my understanding is that it's an extended sex scene with some dialogue added in to make it, you know, a movie. at least with goodfellas, you still have a great movie even after it's censored.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

wanna smell your own breath?: find out how over at frytopia. that is ingenious. i normally just rub a finger over my front teeth, give it a second, and then smell. try that too!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

ironchef.com: as noted on my "about me" page, iron chef is my favorite show. this is by far the best fan site i've been to. i learned, for example, that hiroyuki sakai has the highest winning percentage of the current iron chefs, which surprised me. go to ironchef.com and learn all kind of useful things like that!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

janet jackson set to divorce: you know, only a jackson, or possibly a kennedy, could have such a thing as a "secret husband." if she wanted to keep husbands a secret, why didn't she keep quiet about james debarge? cos that shit is embarrassing.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

court rejects elian gonzalez asylum claim: well, it seems like this is all but over, barring the requisite, "we plan to appeal this decision" statement from the lawyers. let's hope that, finally, this brings a close to a particularly charming chapter in u.s. history. yes, yes, communism is bad, but the miami relatives (someone suggested that this would make a good band name) are worse.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

you asked for it, jerwin: so i don't want to hear any guff from you about it! what are my opinions on jeff buckley? in theory, he should be someone i like a lot: a guy with what is described as a beautiful voice with a penchant for dramatic ballads and zeppelin-esque rockers. in practice, i think he's the most overrated critic's-darling this side of radiohead...and even radiohead has recorded at least one song that i like.

prior to writing this, i listened to "last goodbye" to remind me what exactly i disliked about him. first off, he has a very annoying timbre and his vocal dexterity and expressiveness both pale in comparison to his father's, not to mention a number of singers. (too bad tim abandoned jeff's mom and then died when the boy was nine cos he probably could've learned a lot from dad.) he's like david mcalmont with all of his histrionics and self-indulgence but with none of his presence and passion.

the song itself is a different matter entirely. it sounds like monster ballads for people who make fun of things like monster ballads. except where you can at least derive some cheap fun out of something like "high enough," there's no enjoyment to be had in "last goodbye."

but that's just my opinion. as i'm fond of saying, "to each his own." if you dig him, that's cool, but i feel differently. :)
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

the dangers of rushing to judgement: yesterday, i reviewed the new belle & sebastian album. in the final paragraph, i said that, at best, i believe it would be a grower.

well, i was correct in that assessment. listening to it again, i realize that it is a better album than i gave it credit for. and, yesterday, it was a better album than i gave it credit for too. in retrospect, i was a bit too harsh.

i'll go as far as to say that, if you were to cull the first 6 tracks from the album, it would make a very good ep. "i fought in a war" reminds me of "the state that i am in," but with a mournful tone; "the model," with its winding melody and gorgeous strings, may be the best song on the album, in my opinion; "beyond the sunrise" grows ever more haunting; "waiting for the moon" remains a good first effort for sarah martin; the strings on "don't leave the light on, baby" are redolent of serge gainsbourg's "melody" and the overall atmosphere is very relaxed; "the wrong girl" is a welcome uptempo jaunt, though it'd be insignificant taken out of the context of the album.

the second half of the album is significantly weaker, with "the chalet lines" continuing to be immemorable, and "nice day for a sulk" and the first half of "women's realm" remain top examples of why people loathe b&s so. if an album starts off weak, and gradually gets stronger, the beginning is forgivable; as things stand, though, this album ends up being disappointing as the promise of the first half is utterly wasted. i guess the quick solution would be to put the first 6 tracks on repeat. however, with its somnolent tone, be sure not to operate any heavy machinery.

wait a second...heavy machinery? i'm talking to belle & sebastian fans here. what am i thinking! ha ha ha!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

new poll!: today, i plan to cast my ballot in the second freaky trigger pop music focus group poll. in this estimable poll, i will rate a number of singles released this year, and the results will undoubtedly be placed on the freaky trigger site. today, i am giving you the opportunity to vote for *your* favorite single of the year. if your favorite is not in there, check "other," and then write it in in the comment section. vote now!

as far as yesterday's results go, 80% of you are regular visitors to the site, which is heartening. thanks for visiting and do come again!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

Wednesday, May 31, 2000

BELLE & SEBASTIAN - FOLD YOUR HANDS, CHILD, YOU WALK LIKE A PEASANT
yes, yes, we've all heard the jokes. not since fiona apple's most recent "opus" have people laid into an album title like they have with belle & sebastian's fyhcywlap. "fold your band, child" is a personal fave and i have coined "scold your band, child, they play far too pleasant." i mean, when doing a b&s review, there are two avenues to go: you can joke about the feyness of the band and the silliness of the album title or you can discuss the album. OR you can call the album a joke and call the whole thing off! HA HA HA!

sorry. some confessions: i do not own a single b&s album, though i have heard the early eps. i perhaps wrongly misjudged b&s on a song or two from their proper albums and formed many unfounded opinions about them. when i heard songs like "lazy line painter jane," i found myself loving them despite myself. my curiosity, then, was suitably piqued, particularly hearing the psychedelic, beat-heavy affair that was the non-album single "legal man." given the tempo of this album, it was understandably left off (and given their obsession with the 60s when artists released non-lp singles all the time, it makes even more sense).

fyhc... (sorry, the anagram is even too long to type out) is haunted by the spectre of bad late-60s/early-70s pop. now that doesn't necessarily mean the album is bad, but with the atmosphere of some of the tunes, you get the feeling that you're listening to a seals & croft or a jim croce album, which one guesses is the desired effect. the album begins with "i fought in a war" -- as if the very thought of war didn't turn murdoch's twee little tummy, let alone actually fighting in one. ha ha ha!

sorry. "i fought in a war" is one of the better tracks on fyhc, a letter from a soldier to his sweetheart back home. it's also highly representative of the album: murdoch's reedy voice, though thankfully, we don't get *too* much of it here; hushed atmosphere; and quiet, acoustic arrangements that slowly introduce grandiloquent orchestral accompaniment. in fact, the intricacy and abundancy of the strings and horns make lambchop's ornate nixon sound like guided by voices in comparison.

this lays at the heart of the problem with fyhc: yes, the arrangements are lovely, but they seem to be simply masking the weak tunes. tom called it "bland prettiness," and i tend to agree. too many of the songs end up immemorable: "don't leave the light on baby" with its "sexy" rhodes; "nice day for a sulk" which puts the "mello" in "mellotron" but does feature a classic b&s title; "women's realm" with its ironic gospel feel -- you get the feeling that the keyboardist will break into the "charlie brown" theme at any second; the echoey, altogether boring "chalet lines". all of these tracks have nice, lulling backings but none of them stick in my head.

it seems that the other members of b&s fare better on this album. yes, there is more to b&s than stuart murdoch, thank you very much: frankly, i don't know anyone faint-hearted enough to be able to stand a full album of him. stevie jackson contributes the lovely "beyond the sunrise" with its choir middle and lavish production. (jackson's "the wrong girl," though admirably uptempo, should serve as a lesson to all would-be songwriters out there: just because you use fancy chord changes and sighing horns doesn't mean that your song is "bacharachian." ol' burt wouldn't wipe his septuagenarian behind with this sham of a melody.) isobel campbell puts forth the too-cutesy-by-half-though-otherwise-enjoyable "family tree," and sarah martin delivers the purty/gothy "waiting for the moon," one of the best tunes on the album, in her first effort as a songwriter.

what about the lyrics? what about the lyrics? i know that b&s fans delight in stuart's idiosyncratic, clever-boy lyrics, but frankly, i don't give a damn. most who read this site already know my position on lyrics, and i'm not going to repeat it. in this case, the music doesn't make me interested enough to care what is being said, no matter how heartbreaking or witty. sorry, that's just how i am.

so can i recommend this album? no. at best, i'm going to use the "g" word and hope that it's a grower. at worst, after a few listens, it's going to languish in obscurity. two albums come to mind when listening to this one: the first is the aforementioned nixon and the other is air's moon safari. compared to the former, fyhc lacks the tunes and the presence of a kurt wagner, lyrically and vocally; compared to the latter, an album which i constantly remarked was like a dream in that you couldn't remember what it sounded like after it stopped playing, it lacks the genius and pop smarts of the arrangements. can i recommend this album to b&s fans? yes, but that's as needless as recommending coke to a junkie. a disappointment, then, but not entirely unexpected.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

oh dear God in heaven: if you've not seen this, you should. if you've just eaten, i'd advise against it. i honestly don't know what it is or why it is, but...GAH!...i think i'm....having...a...seizure.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

fold your hands, child: i'm currently listening to the new belle & sebastian album, the one with the laughably precious title. it's my first b&s album, actually, so i don't know if what i'd currently say about it is revelatory. yes, i know that the band is known for their fey manner and their delicate pop offerings, and so far, that's what i've heard. the arrangements have been quite good, but i've yet to hear a melody that has stuck with me. review to follow.

oh, and my apologies for the entry directly below. it's the hook from a devilishly catchy song called, "ooh stick you" by a couple of teens named daphne & celeste.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

OOH!: stick you. your momma too! AND YOUR DADDY!

that is all.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

BON JOVI - "IT'S MY LIFE"

bon jovi has been a personal thorn in my side ever since they released an album with the word "new jesrsey" scrawled on the front, and in the process gave the wags more fodder for their jersey jokes. so, then, expect this review to be brutal and relentlessly harsh.

"it's my life" is the first single from their upcoming album, the generic title of which i've since forgotten. you're probably thinking, "why are they releasing a new album?" i'm thinking that too, and as of yet i have no real answers for you. perhaps they've looked over the charts and thought, "YEAH! NOW IS OUR TIME! the kids need REAL music, not this bubblegum stuff," as if their poodle rock was poised to kill the boybands much like nirvana destroyed jon et. al. excuse me while i go and have a good laugh.

...

back. anyway, this is new bon jovi, but there's nothing really new about it, though it does suggest that someone's been listening to their matchbox twenty albums! (and the fact that m20 have gone all lowercase and spelling out the number like nine inch nails is a topic for another day.) a "hard" guitar riff is mixed with an "eastern" keyboard riff announces to the world that bon jovi has returned! and wow, do they SUCK. the tune is like a mutant hybrid of bryan adams' "summer of '69" and the backstreet boys' "larger than life," without any of the cheap thrills of those two songs. meanwhile, the chorus is their typical life-and-death fare with shoutouts to "tommy and gina" from "living on a prayer" and frank sinatra (the man is DEAD. hasn't the family suffered enough?!). oh, and they have a talking guitar. no one's done that since, like, peter frampton, man! and he's really COOL.

ahem.

the worst thing about it is that it's not even enjoyably laughable like some of their earlier stuff. it's just really bad and annoying and really, really bad (and no, i'm aware that i already said that. i really need to emphasize it's badness). the question must be asked again: why? if you have an answer, please e-mail me. don't worry, though, i won't spend too much time mulling this one over. listen once for the initial amusement, but then avoid at all costs. which shouldn't be too difficult, honestly.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

mtv is BAD for kids!: pssst, do you want to know a secret? mtv isn't showing many videos anymore!! i know, i know, but please, try to calm down. come closer and i'll tell you another one. mtv has become SEXY too!! that's right, they're showing suggestive images, scantily-clad women, and seamy shows about teens DOING IT.

well, if you're not as naive as salon's sharon goldman edry, you, like me, are probably twirling your finger in the air and saying "WHOOP-DE-DOOO!" or maybe that's just my thing. regardless, does this shock anyone? given the way society's going, i think mtv is just keeping up with the times, and besides, it's always been on the edge as far as racy subject matter is concerned. one of the shows in question, "undressed," isn't a patch on afternoon soap operas, and doesn't even compare to those sex series that mtv's been doing for years now. if you're offended, do yourself and your kids a favor: watch vh1. it's better viewing anyhow.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

new poll: today's poll deals with you, the reader of this site. it asks if you're a frequent visitor, or if you're just suckered in by the white-on-white naughty words that are hidden in this blog. vote now!

as far as yesterday's results, 25% of you said that you came here because i amused you. behind that, there were three ties at 20%: music, to stare at my picture, and to make fun of my picture. so you neither love nor hate my face -- interesting.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

frytopia: on a whim, i went to this site yesterday having seen its name high up on the power blogging list and being unfamiliar with it. well, it's a very nice site, one that is sort of like what i'm trying to do here -- a mix of personal junk, links, music, and stuff. i was very pleased to see, then, that under "like a lot," you could find a link to this blog. having violated the first rule of blogging, let me go on to break the second one: thank you very much! ;)

seriously, though, you should go check it out. tell cat i sent you and maybe we'll get moved into the "love" category. *wink-wink* though i think both cat and jerwin would remove me like that if i were to open my mouth about jeff buckley. :)
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

Tuesday, May 30, 2000

everybody loves a poll!: so that's why i've coded one into this page. call it another one of my attempts to get closer to you, my readership. new polls will be popping up fairly often, so vote now!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

britney spears...reconsidered: when abba were putting out records in the mid-70s, the feeling i get is that they were reviled by critics. the 90s saw them reborn as critic's darlings, as the ultimate pop band, who wrote classic songs with nifty arrangements. i agree with this assessment, of course.

since its release, the new britney spears album has received much good press, the latest hosannas coming courtesy of the nme. so i'm wondering: will the music that britney spears made be considered "classic" stuff years down the line? i'll admit that "baby...one more time" is a classic, and that "oops...i did it again" is annoyingly growing on me, but the rest of her stuff? the major obstacle, of course, is that, unlike abba, she doesn't write her own material. i suppose that, as with most things, only time will tell.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

what's in a name?: i appreciate a good blog name. when you start a blog with no connections, the only real way to lure traffic is to grab someone with a name. going through the blogger "fresh" list, i stumbled across touched by an impudite, which is one such name. it's a well-designed site which strikes me as what may be the "typical" blog, and that is a journal of one's thoughts. i don't know what kind of hit count they get, but i would guess that it'd be pretty good, and deservedly so.

i also admire the breast chronicles as a blog name. if i were to name my blog the breast chronicles in order to get hits, it'd work initially, but i doubt that many of those people would return for, with the title that they clicked on, they don't seem like the sort who want to read about music, movies, and stuff, let alone one such blog run by a guy.

if you're going to use your title to boost what you're doing, more power to you. the breast chronicles has evolved nicely from numerous softcore porn-type postings about showers and such to become a pretty damned good one-stop breast information stop, with occasional softcore porn-type postings about showers and such. i'm sure many a guy clicks on the link because of the name, but really, there's not a lot of here for your average guy ("average guy" meaning one without, you know, bosoms). but charlotte, owner of the site and the titular breasts (har har har!), is smart: she keeps the guys coming back with the boobcam, and gives the ladies something to read. kudos, then.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

random shit that no one could give a damn about*: i qualified for a millionaire callback four days straight and five out of the last six days, but not have received one call. yesterday, my mother called and i expressed my anger with her because she was not regis.

also, the cat tore through another pair of my headphones. thank God i had another pair or else i don't know what i would've done.

*this, ladies and gentlemen, is what blogging is all about.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

new look!: some of you may have come here seeing this blog on the "fresh" list at blogger so often. well, truth be told, all of those updates were really just me tinkering with the template to the site. i feel like such a blogger with all of the redesigns i've done. perhaps i've stumbled upon a look i'll keep for at least a few weeks. who knows!
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

some movies: this memorial day weekend was fairly gray in these parts, so we rented several movies: american beauty, fight club, and bringing out the dead.

american beauty, i'd seen in the theaters, and it held up to repeated viewing. with each new viewing, it strikes me more and more as a fin de siecle version of it's a wonderful life, which is a good thing should you be wondering.

fight club was just as bad as i had imagined it'd be; every judgement i had made prior to viewing it proved to be correct. hooray for jumping to conclusions! i believe it was roger ebert who said that david fincher makes the best-looking bad movies out there, and here's another one. for the first forty-five minutes or so, it was very entertaining. the movie moved along well, dialogue was sharp, and the direction was very skillful. after the premise was introduced, though, things went downhill fast. so supposedly commercialism is bad, and you can only be a man if you've been in a fight (one wonders how women learn who they are; the only one in the movie is something of a slut). they spend much time talking about the evils, but never really explain why fighting is the solution -- the statement is made as if it's the undeniable truth. things really go bad in the second half of the film, where idiocy and implausible plot twists reign. a terrible waste of time, really.

the third movie we rented was bringing out the dead. it's another collaboration between martin scorsese and screenwriter, paul schrader. this one bears many resemblances to the duo's taxi driver: both leads are close to going off the rails and are creatures of the night and both portray the seamier side of new york city. botd lacks the visceral punch of taxi driver, but it's an interesting character study nonetheless. it's set in the early 90s, and even with all that giuliani has done to try and clean up the city, you get the feeling that the story would be right at home in the present day (perhaps this was schrader's way of commenting on rudy's policies). it was definitely diverting and worth the price for ving rhames alone; like taxi driver, you get the feeling of "so what?" as the movie didn't serve much of a purpose, but in the end i was entertained, and i can't ask for too much more than that.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

they've got pop in their hands: cat has been updating way too infrequently for my tastes, but she found a winner with this one. one word would suffice: "snicker." i'll say more, though.

why say "pop" music when arguably only one of these artists makes pop music? and if thom yorke, beck, ani difranco, beth orton, and fiona apple are the future of "pop," i wish the world would've ended on january 1.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

straight-acting quiz: this link was put up earlier, but i finally took the test myself. i scored an 8, which i'm told is "incredibly gay." from the site:

LEVEL 8 -- EXTREMELY FEMININE

You got it, you flaunt it. You don't even try to hide it. You want the world to know that you are proud of who you are and if it means two snaps with a 'you go girlfriend' then so be it. Life is too short to be someone you're not, and you'll be damned if you're going to suppress your girlish charm for anyone.

i don't really think i'm that effeminate. neither does my girlfriend, though maybe it's just wishful thinking on her part. ;)
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

cultural artifacts of the moment: though i love this blog, i'll only give it short shrift here as its owner stole this blog from me this past weekend. mike specializes in all things ridiculous, bizarre, and exotic. go visit and you'll find it'll be part of your daily routine too.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

fives times the fun!: yes, i'm shameless. i know this.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

what the hell?: what is going on here? i'm gone for a few days and i come back to chat transcripts?!

as you can tell, i've returned after a very relaxing and refreshing weekend. i am appreciative to mike and tom for their efforts and angered by the fact that they did not receive more help (they know who they are). i expect more of the star chamber. really, i do.

more to follow.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

Sunday, May 28, 2000

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Tom'
Tom: Hi Mike
Tom: Did you get my e-mail about CAOTM
Mike: Yes, I did...and i thank you...
Mike: and that's just really weird...
Mike: I mean the part about scoring a four.
Tom: what is?
Tom: oh yeah, i was very amused to hear you'd got three
Tom: the thing is that because it's on a gay-oriented site they don't ask questions like "Do you have a long-term girlfriend?" ;)
Mike: The whole idea about "straight-acting" men is quite repellent, actually.
Tom: So my music taste betrays me
Mike: Mine too! I'd score higher if I didn't have a Donna Summer or Madonna CD!
Mike: I wonder what a WOMAN would score. :)
Tom: What annoys me is that because I'm not into stereotypically macho masculine pursuits, it's automatically assumed i must be in touch with my 'feminine' side. But I find stereotypical 'womanish' things (Oprah, scented candles, self-help books, etc.) just as horrible as football and lad mags
Mike: Most "sensitive" guys I know like none of those things either.
Mike: Sensitive indie guys love Johnathan Richman. That I know.
Tom: It's also PC to criticise the laddish stuff but not to attack the feminine stuff, as I found out yesterday after complaining to Isabel about the dreadful in-store music in a clothes shop ;)
Tom: Jonathan Richman...ugh.
Mike: I love *some* Modern Lovers stuff...but come ON.
Mike: They like Beat Happening, too.
Tom: Aaaargh!
Mike: On the other side of the puddle, it would be...
Tom: Mind you over here we have the sensitivity explosion
Mike: well, you know.
Tom: Yes, exactly.

(At this point, we discussed certain personality characteristics of John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, in such a way that might be construed as, um...libellous. Anyway...)

Tom: He certainly cranks them out.
Mike: I loathe the whole phenomenon, incidentally.
Mike: Children are from heaven? Would they be *angles*, then? Arrgh.
Mike: angels. You know what I mean.
Tom: Oh yes, me too.
Tom: I know if I was ever to open a copy of "Mars And Venus In The Bedroom" my mind would explode.
Mike: My mind nearly expoded this week when I checked out "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Stress Management*
Mike: Aromatherapy, yoga, anger management...
Tom: Complete Idiot is entirely apt.
Mike: and then I get this line about why news organizations should cover things like ethnic strife, poverty, govt. corruption, etc.
Mike: shouldn't, I mean.
Tom: I think I'm going to write a business book exhorting bosses to employ a 'corporate cynic'.
Tom: Oh no, why not?
Mike: because that's stuff not "news" -- it's last for thousands of years, nothing changes, it's not "new"
Tom: What????
Tom: Was that in the book?
Mike: News is supposed to be "new", etc.
Mike: Pretty much.
Mike: He added, oh, something should be *done* about those problems, sure, but...
Tom: Yes, but without anyone knowing about them in case it upsets their feng shui.
Mike: This is the guy's website -- http://www.BreathingSpace.com
Mike: I've never looked at it, for fear that I would turn to stone.
Tom: I'm there right now.
Tom: Aaah! He looks like Mahir!
Mike: Yeah, it's not going to have anything substansive. Substance (hem-hem) comes with a fee.
Tom: It's got quizzes.
Mike: Mahir?
Mike: Oh -- that guy.
Tom: Indeed, that guy ;)
Mike: What's the point of the year quiz?
Tom: To show the zen irrelevance of events?
Mike: OH MY GOD -- I'm looking at one of them and he repeats some of the hoariest nonsense imaginable.
Tom: Which one?
Mike: There ARE NOT more people alive today than have ever lived and died.
Mike: The "impediments" quiz.
Mike: "There are at least 50 flavors of jelly beans available today." An actual question.
Tom: What an arse - of course my management at work lap this tat up.
Tom: So what's he saying, that a multiplicity of choices and data sources is a bad thing?
Mike: Hmmm...not sure. I think he is saying that with the multiplication of data sources comes greater chances of misinformation.
Tom: His ugly blue screen put me off actually answering any.
Tom: Yes, but that doesn't explain the jelly beans
Mike: He uses the word "mega-realities"
Mike: All of this cries out for parody, of course...
Tom: I'll bet he does.
Tom: Well, somebody's got to blog it.
Mike: but the whole edifice is on such shaky ground, I wouldn't know where to begin.
Mike: The best burlesque of this kind of literature would be the kind nobody knows is a burlesque.
Tom: I know, it really defies it.
Tom: Exactly.
Tom: I would love to start a kind of index of bogus corp-philosophy crap, but I've got enough to do...
Mike: It's so slippery. I can't focus on its wrongness on it at all, because the wrongness branches out in all directions.
Mike: Tom Frank's doing his next book on it, I know.
Tom: It envelops you.
Tom: Is he? Good for him.
Mike: He had a recent article about this landing stuff in Britain.
Mike: stuff landing, I mean.
Tom: We could just post this discussion on one of the blogs.
Tom: Well, it certainly has.
Mike: The whole thing? Errors and all? :)
Tom: I don't see why not.
Ha ha, he'd kill us. Let's do it.
Mike: I'll do it.
Tom: No problem.
Mike: Well, I've got something to do now. See ya around. :)
-Michael Daddino | steal this link! | discuss

TV Go Home: the jewel in the crown of British internet culture, should STB's American readers be unaware of it. Of particular note are the regular series' "Daily Mail Island" and the one featuring Nathan Barley whose name I won't type because I'm not sure of Fred's position on in-blog swearing.
-Tom Ewing | steal this link! | discuss