vain, selfish & lazy.

Saturday, April 14, 2001

the mall: a sort-of adventure: this is largely the product of my unemployment. inspired by the frequent visits to the mall my then-jobless status allowed me, i set about to explore the mall and its relation to our culture and then tried to figure out what it's all about, why it's so integral to our society, particularly for those of us who live in suburbs. i'm increasingly more satisfied with it and i certainly hope that you will take the time to read it and give me some feedback.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

Thursday, April 12, 2001

rampant evangelizing: over the weekend, my sister came from boston to visit us. she'd not known of the magical powers possessed by my new stereo, i.e. the ability to burn cds. had she only known, she would've brought blank discs with her so that she could've copied some of my stuff. good brother that i am, i magnanimously offered her the use of my very own cachet of discs, which offer she accepted. once again reminded of the staggering amount of cds that i own and with very little time here to spare, she gave to me the task of assembling a cd for her.

"well, what do you want on it?"
"oh, i don't know. stuff that you think i'd like."

it is here where i should insert what i know for a fact my sister listens to, and not allow myself to delve into paltry conjecture, e.g. "she likes dave matthews and lyrics that make a strained effort to 'mean' something, so i bet she also likes david gray." so, as far as i know, she listens to: pearl jam, the aforementioned dave matthews, matchbox 20, u2, pink floyd, big head todd and the monsters (!), led zeppelin, sublime, tracy chapman, billy joel, simon & garfunkel, sarah mclachlan and onward, which all seems to say that, yeah, she went to a liberal arts college, even though much of this was already in place by high school where she was well-liked.

so what does one give to the gal who has everything? the following is the tracklisting i put together was based on a number of criteria, such as:
- her tastes
- utilizing songs that are favorites of mine that she may like as well
- songs that i'm interested in getting her feedback on
- what can only be described as that ineffable bond shared by siblings that allows us an entry way into the inner workings of each other's mind. or something. a lot of guessing was done.

and here is that tracklisting, with a little commentary.
mc5, "kick out the jams"
i thought it was a good start to the cd, what with the exhortation to "kick out the jams, motherfucker!" and it rocks and it's intense and all of that.

stooges, "search & destroy"
another favorite of mine, though i regretted the selection afterwards, realizing that, even with appearing in a nike commercial, it might not be catchy enough. should've gone with "i wanna be your dog."

pixies, "debaser"
" ", though the lyrics may catch her a bit off guard and keep her from enjoying the music. just listen to the rhythm guitar, man! oh if only i had time to pen liner notes.

blondie, "dreaming"
" " chosen because i figured she'd probably know some of their bigger hits and because she also likes music chicks.

cheap trick, "surrender"
the song on the cd i figured she had the best chance of knowing, but thankfully she didn't. this is scintillating isn't it?

t. rex, "20th century boy"
it's fun! it's glammy! it's now in a commercial! the time is right for her to discover t. rex, though she may find the lyrics "dumb" and miss the whole point of the song. which is to be slinky and sexy.

let me point out at this juncture that these first seven tracks fucking rock. is this not a classic opening? making the transition into the next track wasn't easy.

go-betweens, "bye, bye pride"
her and her boyfriend were to listen to the cd on their way back to massachusetts. she called about ten tracks in to ask a question about an upcoming song. she also mentioned that "bye, bye pride" was her favorite so far, which i might've guessed. she said it sounds like james, which is her way of saying "it sounds like 'laid.'" and i guess i can see what she's saying: both have chiming guitars and shimmer and seem a bit ornate, but that's where the comparisons end. so then i told her about how i saw them play live not too long ago and on and on. i'd love to hear her tell people, "my favorite bands are dave matthews band, matchbox 20, and the go-betweens." one day...

al green, "l.o.v.e. (love)"
another uncomfortable segue. on second thought, i should've used a more commercial al green song, like "i'm still in love with you" because doubtlessly she's familiar with "let's stay together," even if she doesn't know the singer. my bad, after all, this isn't my tape.

bruce springsteen, "darkness on the edge of town (live)"
because she needs to be better acquainted with her heritage. you can take the girl out of new jersey... and because this absolutely kicks ass. springsteen, before he was famous of course, played my father's bar in asbury park. he says that bruce was a normal guy. i never would've guessed.

velvet underground, "heroin"
this was the song she called about. asked, "was this in trainspotting?" yes. yes it was. as was another song on the cd, i then realized. i put this on here as a "litmus test," to see what she'd make of it. after getting the answer to her question, she said nothing more of it. hm.

replacements, "unsatisfied"
it's passionate and it howls and it seems right for a movie she'd like, so it seemed a natural. one of those that i'd like to hear what she makes of it.

nick drake, "pink moon"
of all of the tracks on the cd, this seems the most tailored to her taste. it's folky and meaningful and haunting and, AND it was used in a commercial! i now realize that this a fairly desolate stretch of land here, and it'll only continue with...

lou reed, "perfect day"
aka "yes, this is also in trainspotting." we were swimming or rather floating in our pool one day, and i had a "boombox" out playing my latest mix of the time, this was several years ago when we had very few cares and whatever they were, they were quickly quelled by the lulling of the waters. one of the songs on the mix was "sad song" by lou reed, the music of which she said sounded like a fairy tale and the lyrics of which struck her as extreme. let's see if she "gets" this or thinks it's just a singalong.

jimmy cliff, "many rivers to cross"
along with the last track on the cd, i put this on every first tape i make for someone, because i think it should be heard and also because i think it's hard to dislike, no matter what the musical tastes of the person involved.

otis redding, "try a little tenderness"
this and the next two tracks are in my top five, so they were locks. this might be a bit too "soulful" for her delicate constitution, but it was worth a shot.

beach boys, "til i die"
her knowledge of the beach boys is as limited as most people's, to the degree where i don't think she knows what pet sounds is beyond, you know, noise made by animals. so, who knows, maybe this will replace "kokomo" in her heart, but i doubt it.

glen campbell, "wichita lineman"
i'm glad she has no idea who glen campbell is, otherwise this would never get a listen. just as long as she doesn't know that our mother likes it, it should be okay, our mother's tastes being anathema to her.

tom waits, "jersey girl"
because she is one, and it might make her feel nostalgic. except my sister is more sensitive to voices than even yours truly, so this and the next song, stupid placing them back-to-back like that, are indeed a trial.

nick cave, "the ship song"
if she can make it past the voice... i wavered back and forth between this and "straight to you" and opted for this because it's not so apocalyptic and it just resonates with meaning.

lorraine ellison, "stay with me"
home run! if this doesn't work, i don't know what will. actually, the last fifteen seconds are cut off, but thankfully the pathos-laden bridge survives intact. probably the best unknown song there is, though i'm willing to bet that that status has changed since i first thought it several years ago. a great way to end the mix, if only a bit jarring with the cut-off.

so i haven't heard from her since. no, i doubt it's a reaction to the mix, that's just how she is. i love sharing music with people, as you readers know well, and who more dear to share it with than family? i know she appreciated the gesture, but hopefully she also feels the same of the music. if so, there's plenty more where that came from...
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss

Tuesday, April 10, 2001

portrait of a jerk: fuck you, it's not about me. this is about a gentleman ("gentleman!!" he says) along for the ride on the 5:43 hackettstown train. normally i'd get to the train a health 18 minutes before departure, but the n/r line is all fucked up and...some regrettable choices were made (dull stuff, you don't want to hear). anyhow, i had to sprint to the train before it left the station and i'd have to hang around for another half-hour.

so i've boarded and i'm looking for a place to sit. just like on the schoolbus, three-seaters are really for two and i'll let you guess how many take up a two-seater, and i wasn't looking forward to violating that unspoken rule. i walked through several cars before i found my spot and that's where i saw him. sitting in the what-can-only-be-described-as-a-FOUR-seater (two two-seaters facing each other) was a solitary man -- which, to look at him, and to now think about it, is more applicable than i thought when i committed that word pairing to computer screen. he had his legs out wide like the guy on the subway who doesn't want you to sit next to him, and he's leaning forward because, BECAUSE!! he had his fucking COMPUTER on the other seat.

i'm not going to lie to you, friends, i'm as guilty as the next man when it comes to putting my bag on the seat next to me, sheepishly trying to give off the impression that, yes, this seat is taken. it never works of course, and i don't expect it to, but you can't begrudge a man for trying to retain and to acquire more space in this crazy world of ours. this utter DICKHEAD, though, was not only already incorporating the seat next to him by placing his bulky jacket and bag on it, but with the computer on the seat opposite him and his WALLET on the seat next to the computer, he was totally crossing the line. crossing the line, erasing it, and then making his OWN line. no one tries to sit in any of the seats and the conductors don't give him hell.

so you just know that i'm going to keep my eye on this guy the whole trip, so let me tell you what i saw. let this be said: there are men. and then there are men who take off their shoes on the train. of all the indignities! FEET!! then he puts his feet up on the seat across from him and brings the laptop to, appropriately enough, his lap, now that the train is moving and everyone is seated and just a little more uncomfortable because of him. he was doing "code," writing a little html, but i imagine that doesn't require of the reader a great leap of the imagination. on leaving the train, i noticed he had earplugs in. not headphones; earplugs. to keep OUR noise out. the poor fella is so inconvenienced by this world, and yet he in turn fucks with the rest of us. like alanis morrissette said, "isn't it ironic?"

things i wanted to say to him:
- "my grandfather used to say tables are for glasses, not for asses. similarly, seats are for people, not for computers."
- "buddy, i know that this computer is your best friend, lover, etc., but that still doesn't qualify it as a person, someone who needs their own seat."

but he never would've heard me anyway. because of the earplugs, you see. which is as good a cop-out as any. but next time! oh, yeah. so, take my advice, kids, or rather the advice of the great "droz" (jeremy piven, of tv's cupid) from p.c.u.: don't be that guy.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss