vain, selfish & lazy.

Thursday, May 17, 2001

uh: i figured i should say a few words to let those few of you who read this know that i'm still alive. how many people read this still anyway? HELLO! most have moved on, i imagine, and they're right, you know. not that you are wrong, i can hardly afford to offend my few remaining readers. in my eyes, with the love that i have inside for you, ypu are above right and wrong, you are merely (merely!) faithful and devoted and i love you, i love you, i love you.

there. i should inform you that i am officially blocked, as in writer's block. what better way to get through it than to ramble on nonsensically! earlier in the evening, i tried to write a review of 'nsync's new single, "pop" and just as i was about finished, i deleted it, realizing that it was too shitty for this page (worse than not updating at all, really!), let alone nylpm. the single is great, btw, i just can't tell you why, unfortunately.

i've been doing a lot of reading, a trend that started in october or so, and since then i've probably read close to 20,000 pages or so. i just finished re-reading crime and punishment. spoilers ahead, they'll be the text in white. a quick summary: little crime, less punishment. the title should've been one crime is committed and then much time is spent thinking and speaking about that crime and there is little punishment to be had until THE EPILOGUE!. though i can see why the publisher thought crime & punishment made for a snappier title, just as war & peace is punchier though less apt than really fucking boring: a novel.

but enough of this silliness lest ye get the impression that i don't feel anything less than undying LOVE for dostoevsky and especially for crime & punishment. it's amazing the differences to be had in reading books as a teenager and then re-reading them as a twentysomething, how much easier it becomes to relate to certain characters, the gravity of whose plights escaped the youth with idealism still intact. the ending, though if written today would be considered hackneyed and a cop-out, still has the power to educe strong emotions and that's due to the strength, intelligence and, above all, the passion of the 550 pages that precede it. when i want severity, destitution and, yes, redemption, who better to turn to than the russians? i'm about to begin anna karenina, which i've never read before and which, despite my extreme displeasure with great chunks of war & peace, i'm holding out high hopes for.

i now realize that i've run out of things to say and with that i say "ta," though hopefully not for too long. here's hoping things clear up. as it were.
-fred solinger | steal this link! | discuss