week 2:
for love of mixtapes; god is a dj (and his name is fred); wyclef returns; A-HA RETURNS (!); the twenty greatest songs ever scientifically determined by a three man panel consisting of me, myself and i; oh, and, boobs.

week 3:
get drawn to the magnetic fields; three movies that are grossly overrated; some of the greatest movies...ever; xtc murders love...again; james brown breaks out in a "cold sweat"; morrissey and springsteen...separated at birth?; i bare my soul...again; and MORE!

week 4:
gladiator slays me, eminem and xtc reviews, a new look!, i poke fun at my own writing, the inmates take over the asylum, and MORE!

other blogs i like:
(because they're out there, you know)
nylpm
blue lines
josh's blog
westernhomes
log.nu
skykicking
pearls that are his eyes
catherine's pita
public blog
i drank WHAT?
cultural artifacts of the moment
frytopia

BON JOVI - "IT'S MY LIFE"

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bon jovi has been a personal thorn in my side ever since they released an album with the word "new jesrsey" scrawled on the front, and in the process gave the wags more fodder for their jersey jokes. so, then, expect this review to be brutal and relentlessly harsh.

"it's my life" is the first single from their upcoming album, the generic title of which i've since forgotten. you're probably thinking, "why are they releasing a new album?" i'm thinking that too, and as of yet i have no real answers for you. perhaps they've looked over the charts and thought, "YEAH! NOW IS OUR TIME! the kids need REAL music, not this bubblegum stuff," as if their poodle rock was poised to kill the boybands much like nirvana destroyed jon et. al. excuse me while i go and have a good laugh.

...

back. anyway, this is new bon jovi, but there's nothing really new about it, though it does suggest that someone's been listening to their matchbox twenty albums! (and the fact that m20 have gone all lowercase and spelling out the number like nine inch nails is a topic for another day.) a "hard" guitar riff is mixed with an "eastern" keyboard riff announces to the world that bon jovi has returned! and wow, do they SUCK. the tune is like a mutant hybrid of bryan adams' "summer of '69" and the backstreet boys' "larger than life," without any of the cheap thrills of those two songs. meanwhile, the chorus is their typical life-and-death fare with shoutouts to "tommy and gina" from "living on a prayer" and frank sinatra (the man is DEAD. hasn't the family suffered enough?!). oh, and they have a talking guitar. no one's done that since, like, peter frampton, man! and he's really COOL.

ahem.

the worst thing about it is that it's not even enjoyably laughable like some of their earlier stuff. it's just really bad and annoying and really, really bad (and no, i'm aware that i already said that. i really need to emphasize it's badness). the question must be asked again: why? if you have an answer, please e-mail me. don't worry, though, i won't spend too much time mulling this one over. listen once for the initial amusement, but then avoid at all costs. which shouldn't be too difficult, honestly.