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ROBBIE WILLIAMS - "ROCK, DJ"
okay, before i even start to talk about the song let me just say that the video is fucked up. more on that later, though.

so robbie is back, though his critics will say that he's never gone away. and how could he? he's arguably the biggest star in all of england, setting a new world record for the speed with which his upcoming shows sold out. so is "rock, dj" an important single? it's hard for me to say from my perspective as an american: yes, it should be good in order to continue being successful, but robbie appears to be at a stratosphere of fame where it wouldn't matter if he released a video in which nudity, cannibalism, and gore were all featured.

what i can say with certainty is that "rock, dj" is a good song. if you, like me, have bought into robbie, then i think you too will like this one; if you're a robbie-hater, on the other hand, little things like quoting famous hip-hop lines in his pre-verse raps will aggravate the hell out of you. right, mr. scarth? i find those raps to be rhythmic and good set-ups for the verses, with the quotes striking me as good-natured.

the song utilizes barry white's oft-sampled "it's ecstasy (when you lay down next to me)" for its base, but it doesn't sound stale or tired. it may have something to do with the urgency of the verses, how they build and build and continue to ascend until robbie realizes that he can't resist the groove any longer and surrenders with the singalong chorus. to break things up a little, a fuzz guitar comes in at the end -- not really needed, but a nice touch nonetheless. so, to summarize, it's not rocket science, it's a robbie single: it bounces and bops and hits you in all of the right places. you too may not want to rock, but the song may make you feel nice despite yourself.

so about that video, it's quite odd. you watch the first three minutes or so of it and you're wondering what all of the hubbub was about. it all seems innocuous enough with robbie in the futuristic dance club where all videos with futuristic dance clubs take place. the laydeez are all rollerskating around him, as robbie stands on a plateau, appearing for all the world like a go-go boy. he slowly starts to strip until he's buck-naked. you take a look at the realvideo timer and realize that there's still over a minute to go: what is he going to do now? he can't get any more naked, can he?

well, yes he can. without blinking an eye, robbie starts tearing off his skin until all you can see are his muscles. he throws the skin out into the crowd. then he starts ripping off his muscles and does the same with them. then he rips out his heart and throws it out to the adoring crowd. blood splatters over all of their faces, some catch the body parts and start to chew on them. everyone keeps skating around in a circle LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG! the video ends with robbie's skeleton, continuing to sing and dance. it's a risky (and risque) video, but one that pays off, i think. now let's see if he can get it on mtv and continue the taking of america that began with "millennium" and continued with "angels."