This
is when it all started
I guess
it really started years before. I just thought that mom was getting
older and forgetful. My mother had a male friend who use to take
me to the side and say; " Your Mom is failing" What? How could he
be saying this stuff she had it more together than he did. She was
always taking care of him. What could he be talking about.
My mother and I never
fought, we would disagree but we never really had words. It was getting
harder and harder all of the time, she was so argumentative. I noticed
she was having some problems with decisions and figuring money when we
went shopping but I thought it was just her getting older. She was
complaining about her eyes before we had a chance to make the appointment
her eye hemorrhaged. We went the doctor saw something but said bring
her back in a week if it is still there we will be sent to a medical
doctor. It was the beginning of 1999. January so we started
with making appointments. I had asked her doctor to call me, we had
an appointment for the 19 th. Her doctor never called me. So
I called my doctor and said I think my mother needs be checked out
there is something wrong but I don't know what it is. Mom seemed
depressed. She was and she admitted it to me. The year before
she was depressed too. I thought she was getting better but I guess
not. She went to my doctor on the 19th of January. She checked
her out and wanted her to return in a month . February 23rd.
The day before her next appointment was when I thought It was all over.
My brother called in a panic. Is mommy over there? No ! I said,
What's wrong? Jimmy said something is wrong I went to moms house
the paper is outside and she wont come to the door. I tried calling from
my house. No answer, Oh My God, What Happened?.. Jimmy called
me back he tried to get in she had the chain on the door. He Yelled
Hey Mom ??? no answer. He called me back, said you better get over
here. I said call the police I am on my way. I must have gotten
behind every slow car. Crying all the way and praying. Preparing
myself, thinking Oh My God, she died. What happen what am I going
to do? When I got to her house, I didn't see an ambulance a cop car.
Nothing, as I walked towards her door and up the stairs to her apartment
I was shaking. I knocked on the door and there was my mother
and brother sitting at her kitchen table. I said What is going on???
I said you scared me to death. She said you? I had one hell of a
night. She did. The bathroom and walls and all over the place
was covered with feces. She had the diarrhea, she never got into
her bed. I said well we have to get you to the doctors. She
was willing but wanted to take a shower first. That's when I noticed
the bruises. First on her feet as she took off her slippers, then the rest
of her. Her breast had a bruise the size of a baseball on it.
I swear if I didn't know that the door was locked with the chain and if
the police didn't see her eventually open the door, I would have sworn
she was beaten. I took her to the doctors and my brother came with
me. Good thing, she wanted to talk to both of us. She asked
my mother what day it was? she knew. She asked my mother who was
the president? she knew. so she sent her home with me and set up
some tests, blood work a meeting with a neurologist, etc. etc... and it
kept getting worse each day.
I had her at my house
for ten days. During that time
I noticed that she couldn't find the bathroom, she wandered all night long. She
cried out to me that she was dying. I
didn't get sleep for almost ten days. I
was sleeping on the floor in my living room to be near her. After
calling all over looking for help because I had no idea what was going
on with her. We had days when
we would be at different doctors offices for some kind of test or another,
she would get so tired she couldn't even speak. She
weighed 88lbs and looked like a skeleton. Even
though she is a tiny person she looked like she was dying. I
called an ambulance for her and she was taken to the hospital. When
we got to the hospital she was given a chest x-ray and some blood tests. She
was still bruised from head to toe. The
nurse in the emergency room asked me what had happen? I
told her we didn't know that was the way she was when we got into her apartment. Ten
days earlier. After a while
I walked up to the main desk in the ER and said I was going to get a cup
of coffee. The doctor said,
Oh! You can take her home;
there is nothing wrong with her. I
went nuts. I yelled, I would
not take her home. You keep
her. Out the door I went, once
outside I cried and cried. How
could I walk away from her? How
could I leave her like this? I
must be a horrible person.
My daughter was with me and
she got a doctor to come and talk to me. Someone
who would at least hear what I had to say. The
ER doctor just kept saying she is fine you take her home. It
was then that I realized I was falling apart. I
cried and every thing that ever happened to me in my life surfaced. I
was so angry so sad and so helpless. The
hospital didn't want to keep her, but I had to fight with them to do that. She
went into the hospital that day for three days. She
was seeing things that were not there, as she had in the past.
I thought when she would tell
me that people were coming into her living room through the TV. I
would tell her, she has to get out more. She needed to socialize. I
really didn't understand. So
another guilt was in side me. Why
didn't I notice that theses things were not normal? Anyway,
three days in the hospital and she went to a nursing home. After
she was there three days she feel and broke her hip and was back at the
hospital. I really thought
she was going to dye. She was
sent back to the nursing home and was in bed for six weeks. I
would go visit her everyday. Little by little she started getting better. Not
great but better. She was
in a wheel chair and physical therapy told me she reached her capacity
and would probably never walk again. She
had forgotten how and may never be able to do it again. Well
she is walking and she is talking to me. Some days all her words are wrong.
She has gained weight and looks really good. The
aricept has helped as far as I can tell. Some
days are better than others. I
guess having her go to a nursing home was the better choice. It
was not the first Nursing Home that really helped her get better in May
she was moved to a different residents and is really getting excellent
care. She has friends there
that were her friends during her lifetime from High school to past neighbors. Some
of them she don't remember, well most of them she don't remember but when
she sees them she does. Next
month it will be a year since this all began, we have come a long way.
No matter what I still can understand her or least get a general idea what
she is trying to say. So all
in all I guess I did do the right thing. I
take each day as a new one. I
hug her as often as I can. We
laugh as much as we can. And we Love all of the time.
Keeping the faith and trying to keep a smile on my face and on my
mothers face too. ((((HUGS)))
